Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Tempestade... repetida

Conseguirás desafiar o amanhã a meu lado ?


Estava tão habituado a sentir o vento através de mim, que nunca tinha sentido prazer de estancar o frio, proteger-te pequenina e tornar-me então teu impermeável e desta feita sentir o calor que vem de dentro. Espanta-me ainda teu sorriso e agarrar-me forte de olhos fechados, estás a habituar-te a mim, a mim que nunca soubera preocupar-me com alguém para além de mim.



E se eu for a força deste mundo, mais demolidor que qualquer outra força que alguma vez se tenha visto, se for capaz de voar, explodir, engolir, afogar, perfurar, morder, esmagar, matar. Assustador a liberdade que me deram, vejo o que me corre nas minhas veias, tão igual e ao mesmo tempo tão diferente que todos os outros que aceitam os dias e o bem como segurança, como medida acertada, a revelação de ter em mim a escolha, de enfrentar todos os mundos, comandar rebeliões, novas guerras e revoluções quero me vivo, para escolher matar, destruir anular criações, é essa a minha obra de arte, a aniquilação e desafio de ser julgado não por homens, por esses não serei tocado.


Mandarei bilhetinhos de amor, como outrora o Jack mandou à Scotland Yard, e serei julgado como victima, por ser tão parecido com todos os outros que em frenesim e medo que lhes proporciono de forma despretensiosa, ofereço lhes vida e morte... o sangue daquela mulher tão bela...seios alvos perfeitos a apontar para o ceu...o ventre rasgado ao meio por cirurgico bisturi... e um olho desaparecido, que será encontrado enrolado a um jornal daqui a 3 semanas, noutro bilhetinho... noutro país que ainda se julgue protegido e onde belas hospedeiras me sorrirão à chegada.

Escolher foder.te... escolher amar-te...escolher matar-me aos poucos também... mas saber que escolho... leva me a mais um dia, mais uma boa noite...


Voltando à hospedeira, gostei daquele sorriso tão seguro, tão convicto de promissor ascensão, em camas de poder e perigosos loucos, sorri-me saber desta atração do belo pelo horrendo, aquele corpo torneado em musculos e cuidados, amores e regras levaram-na a tornar-se bela rapariga, convicta de saber valer atributos tão apreciados nos dias de hoje, toquei-lhe abeixo do peito e desci minhã mão homicida até sua cintura sorri-lhe em confiança e com a outra mais delicada, coloquei cirurgicamente um papelinho perfumado em seu decote, pressionei ligeiramente à saida de gesto tão descarado meu dedo indicador entre seu peito tão suave e disse-lhe que a cidade era nova para mim e havia muito que queria descobrir nela... olhava lhe o corpo e sorria-lhe... ela na sua farda azul tão provocante como profissionalmente integra, autoridade à qual não se deve dizer que não dentro de um aeroporto, ali estava...surpresa, agradada ao descaramente daquele homem sujo de sol e barba de 3 dias, e mãos fortes... ao ouvido falava-lhe de uma casa velha, num sitio escuro com vista para o Moulin Rouge e que não queria jantar sozinho... disse-lhe ainda que era artistas como o antigo Toulosse e que aquele corpo merecia existir num quadro, num memorável acontecimento... estava a ser implacavel... sentia sua respiração tremida... sentia seu peito duro... e não gritara até agora... com minha lingua tão perto do seu ouvido... que não lhe daria tempo para gritar... imaginava até e já... uma mordaça...que lhe ofereceria junto com a sobremesa... dizendo lhe q era assim q a gostaria de desenhar... com alça caida...e mordaça... para não gritar... se eventualmente nos deixassemos levar... pelo desejo... teria a exausta sorrindo para mim... sem proferir som nenhum...

Perguntou-me... quanto tempo iria eu ficar naquela cidade... disse lhe que só aquela noite...tal como ela... ao que ela respondeu sorrindo que ficaria 2 dias... sorri-lhe... como podemos ser tão ingenuos, como se a vida fosse ela garantida, por mais tempo que um proximo respirar.

25 comments:

Patricia said...

Porque não há coincidências nesta vida, nem em tantas outras que ainda havemos de viver...

Esa said...

Gosto sempre tanto... Mas fico repetitiva assim.... Que maçada! Ando enfadonha, enfim..
Parabéns. =)

Débora Benvenuti said...

Maravilhoso como só você sabe ser.
Beijos

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